Going from Self-Conscious to Self-Confident

You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Going from self-conscious to self-confident is a simple process of developing skills.  Being self-conscious is painful and pointless.  Being self-confident is healthy and rewarding.

Self-conscious people have to think about themselves.  They are less aware of the world in front of them and around them.  They have a heightened level of self-awareness.

Being around other people makes self-conscious people feel embarrassed, insecure, and anxious.  For some people, just the thought of being around other people can produce these feelings.

Everyone experiences self-consciousness sometimes.  Being hungry, tired, in a new situation, or doing something embarrassing can make a person self-conscious.  Losing a shirt button or blouse button right before a meeting can happen to anyone and make the person feel self-conscious.

People who are self-confident don’t have to think about themselves.  They are not cocky or narcissistic.  They can enjoy life with a clear mind.  They can become more successful through their attention their activities.

When being self-conscious affects the quality of a person’s life or career, it is time to do something about the problem.

There are simple steps for turning self-consciousness into self-confidence. Start with writing down the situations that make you feel self-conscious.    Name the feeling you have.  For example, if a compliment makes you feel embarrassed, write something like, “Every time someone gives me a compliment, I feel embarrassed.”  Then develop this simple skill to deal with the feeling.

When someone gives you a compliment, just say, “Thank you.”  Then smile.

Being around strangers makes many people feel self-conscious.  When going into places where there are strangers, go with friends.

If you are self-conscious about meeting people, develop a simple skill for handling introductions.  Say, “It is nice to meet you, [person’s name].”

If you feel self-conscious in a conversation, become a good listener.  Ask questions.  Speak slowly.

If you are self-conscious about your appearance, you can reduce your concerns by getting clothes that fit.  Grooming or getting a haircut can help people feel more comfortable.  Exercise and eat healthy.  Develop some acceptance skills.  Accept your body as it is even while you are working to change it.  You don’t have to like it.  You just have to stop thinking about it.  There is no perfect body any way.

Public speaking is terrifying for some people.  To develop public-speaking skills there are classes you can take or organizations you can join.  I have learned to be comfortable speaking to any size audience.  I don’t think about the crowd.  I prepare a presentation that has information the audience needs to know.  I rehearse to the point that I can say what I need to say without thinking.  I take notes with me for reference.  Then I focus on what I am saying.  By focusing on what I am saying, I give the crowd what they came to hear:  my message.

The point is that you can become less self-consciousness and live a better life.  You can take simple steps to develop skills.  You can take classes to develop skills for self-confidence.  You can even get help from professional coaches or psychology specialists.  You can turn self-consciousness into self-confidence.

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