Toxic People: How to Deal with Destructive Personalities

Toxic people create stress that spreads throughout an organization. What are the skills that you can develop not only to survive but to grow around destructive personalities?

Change What You Control.

If you can control the actions of toxic people, your first step is to stop what these people are doing.  The way that I have ended toxic behavior is confronting these people with the facts of their actions.  From there, I have shown them the price they will pay if they continue their destructive behavior.

Avoid the Poison.

When I can’t change the behavior of toxic people, I avoid them. If there is no reason to have to deal with them, I don’t.

Skills for Becoming a Healthier Person

Toxic people: When you can’t fight them, don’t join them.  However, make yourself healthier.

When I can’t change the behavior of toxic people or avoid these people altogether, I focus on the changes I can make in myself to become a healthier person.

Here are some things that work for me.

1. I write about my feelings.

When I write about my feelings, I cut the sting of painful emotions.

In writing about my emotions, I name my feelings.  Fear, anger anxiety, insecurity, and resentment are common feelings that people have around toxic people. You may have other bad feelings. When I experience these feelings, I write about them.

2. I write about my actions.

In this step, I can see what things I can change in my own behavior to reduce the damage in a toxic relationship.  For example, if I act out of anger, I can change my actions.

3. I discuss what I am feeling with a mentor.

One of the problems with writing about my feelings is that I have trouble seeing solutions.  Instead I focus on how people have harmed me.

However, I have close friends I can trust.  These people keep what I tell them a secret.  These friends are mentors who show me how I can grow and improve my behavior.