The best way to change your life today is to decide to be in a good mood.
Jay Wren
Change the subject in your head. Get up and move around. Focus on your surroundings. Breathe. Make a list of your blessings. Just sit still and let painful feelings pass. Talk with a friend. Act to change your mood.
Everyone on the planet has people who have been unkind to them. Happiness comes from how I respond to how people treat me.
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Life is too short to worry about little things. Have fun. Regret nothing.
It is your responsibility to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself before they become fixed in your mind as beliefs. Smile. Say something nice about yourself. Make a list of your blessings.
There are many things that you can do to calm your jitters. Perhaps the most overlooked way is simply to smile. People smile when they are happy. And equally important is that smiling can help you feel happy. “Fake ’till you make it” is an ambiguous term. Some people see it as a disingenuous way of faking your skills. Another view is that faking confidence can help you gain confidence. A smile triggers thoughts that generate happiness.
The smiley face emoji says to other people you approve of what they have to say. Smiling has a similar effect. It tells people you approve of them. It creates trust and helps people open up to you.
You are generating charisma. People find your presence attractive. Your smiling helps people feel more confident and comfortable being around you. In turn, they smile and you feel confident from their signal of approval.
A frown will chase away friends. Ah, but there is something about a smile that attracts people and draws people to you.
So, let it go. When you see people, start with a smile. As people approach, nod and smile. When you are shaking hands with people, look at them and smile.
“Don’t let the world change your smile. Let your smile change the world.” A Work in Progress by Connor Franta
Social anxiety is common. People who are shy are not the only people who experience social anxiety. People who are confident about what they say or do around friends and family may feel social anxiety when they are among strangers or in front of an audience.
Social anxiety can make you avoid opportunities for work, fun, and networking. It can cut your opportunities for leadership roles. Your anxiety can generate signals that make it harder for people to reach out to you.
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Great leaders have things in common. They also have different ways to find their individual greatness.
Here are eight ways you can find your own individual greatness.
Find the beat of your own drum and march to it.
It is so easy for me to get distracted and off course when I look at what other people are doing and imitate those people. What I often find is that the direction that those people are going is completely off track from where I want to be. If I can just trust the beat of my drum, I can stay on task, trust my instincts, and create work that is original and produces fantastic results.
Be happy today.
“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. ” Buddha
Happiness is an inside job. When I feel sad, I acknowledge that I am sad. I do not focus on the things that I believe are making me sad. Often my feelings come along and I seem to find ideas to hang them on. I admit that I am sad, I experience the feeling of sadness, and I let it pass on its way. If I do not attach ideas to my feelings, most of the time my feelings only hang around for a minute or two, and I get a fresh, often invigorating sense of my world.
Focus on doing things accurately.
My baseball coaches said see the ball and hit the ball. In football, the coaches said see the ball and catch the ball. Watch the baseball all the way into your bat. Watch the football all the way into your hands and arms.
Create new things instead of perfecting old things.
I have worked drafts of articles so many times that I have lost track of what I had in mind when I started writing the article. I have found that the best way to work on any project and carry it forward to the finish is to write a statement of what I want to do. Second, I create an outline of the things that I need to do to do the task. Third, I fill in the details of completing the task. Whether I am washing my car or writing an article, the process of the same.
Keep projects simple.
The steps are pretty much the same for each project
| Wash Car | Write Article |
| Tools: bucket, soap, sponge, towels, water hose | Tools: Laptop |
| Spray the car. | List paragraph headings |
| Sponge wash car. | Write material to match
headings. |
| Rinse the car. | Proofread the article. |
| Dry the car. | Post the article on my website. |
Finding Your Individual Greatness through Personal Growth
Emphasize the things that are working and build on those things.
Sometimes it is easy for me to get off track, discouraged, and lose my sense of direction. When this happens, I can focus on the things that I did when things were working and simply repeat those things.
Keep an open mind to new ideas to simplify and make your life easier.
I see new, simple, even free ways to do the same things that have been a struggle. I created the table above in Microsoft Word. For anyone who has ever tried to insert a table in a website, you will know that tables make some material easier to read and the table can be a challenge to create and support through editing.
Take criticism as suggestions that can help you.
I remember working with an applicant on her resume. She told me that the things that I told her she had already covered with other recruiters and had even had her resume written professionally. I said simply that I understood and that the only thing that mattered is that she manages her resume in the way that she feels will be most effective for getting her interview.
Photo by Nabil Naidu on Unsplash
Changing my attitude creates self-wins. Sometimes I believe that I need to negotiate better conditions at work. A good place to start those negotiations is with that voice between my ears.
Jay Wren
Photo by Luke Chesser on Unsplash
All those things I learned as a child about healthy living are by coincidence the same things that adults do to become winners. ~ Jay Wren
10 Ways Winners Become Winners
There are countless ways to become a winner. Here are ten things I see winners doing that help me.
Winners own their mistakes.
They correct them. They move forward. They don’t let life’s little mistakes lie around and create problems and stress.
Winners don’t apologize all the time.
People who are apologizing all the time aren’t correcting mistakes. They are just trying to deal with the stress of insecurities without understanding why they feel insecure.
Winners talk to friends.
Just having friends helps us beat stress. Talking to friends gets us out of my own head and into the present moment. Talking to friends helps me get my bearings. Talking to friends can also help me deal with the stress of insecurities that can cause me to apologize all the time.
Winners do it now.
Of course, we feel stressed when we keep putting off what we need to do. I win when I do the things I need to do.
Winners write it down.
When something is bothering me, I can write it down. Writing takes the sting out of stress. If I have something that I need to do but can’t do now, I can write it down. Having a list creates a plan of action. Having the plan helps me become more productive. When I become more productive, I have a sense of accomplishment. I feel less stress.
Winners eat healthy stuff first.
We must eat. Sometimes our cravings are going to make us eat junk. Winners don’t worry about it. But they eat the healthy stuff first.
Winners take breaks!
No one can run wind sprints all day long. Winners take breaks. Breaks make us more productive. People who work in virtual offices can easily forget to take breaks. I stand up. I walk away from my desk and walk around for five minutes. I lie down for a couple of minutes. I take breaks by getting away from my work. Not taking breaks creates fatigue, which screws up our perspective and stresses us out.
Winners get plenty of sleep.
Lack of sleep causes depression and anxiety. Lack of sleep creates stress. I get plenty of sleep and live with a clear, rested mind.
Winners get real!
It is so easy to believe that we have some kind of control over national or international event way beyond our control. Get real. We can’t police the universe! Being the police officer of the universe is completely fruitless and painfully stressful.
Winners get help!
Asking for help does remarkable things. Winners gain the advantage of getting help with their success. With one person rowing, you can power a small boat or a canoe. With dozens of people rowing, you can move a large ship.
Photo by Codioful (Formerly Gradienta) on Unsplash
Six steps to reducing stress and increasing happiness.
Live in the Present Moment.
Living in the present moment means being fully aware of what is happening right now, without dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. It is a state of mind that can bring many benefits, such as:
Breathe deeply and consciously.
Breathing is the most basic and essential function of life, yet we often take it for granted. By paying attention to your breath, you can anchor yourself to the present moment and calm your mind. Try to breathe deeply and slowly, filling your lungs with air and exhaling fully. Notice how your chest and abdomen rise and fall, and how your body feels with each breath. You can also use a simple mantra, such as “I am here, I am now”, to focus your attention.
Observe your surroundings.
Another way to live in the present moment is to observe your surroundings with curiosity and openness. Use your senses to notice the details of your environment, such as the colors, shapes, sounds, smells, and textures. You can also try to find something new or interesting in familiar places, such as a flower, a painting, or a sign. By doing this, you can appreciate the beauty and diversity of life, and avoid getting stuck in your thoughts.
Do one thing at a time.
In today’s busy and multitasking world, it is easy to get distracted and lose focus. However, doing too many things at once can make you feel overwhelmed and stressed, and reduce the quality of your work and experience. To live in the present moment, try to do one thing at a time, and give it your full attention and energy. Whether it is reading a book, cooking a meal, or having a conversation, immerse yourself in the activity and enjoy the process.
Express gratitude.
You can express gratitude by writing a journal, saying thank you to someone, or simply reflecting on what you are grateful for. By doing this, you can boost your happiness and well-being, and foster a positive outlook on life.
The Power of Information
If your friends, social media, and daily news make you fearful, hateful, and angry, you need better sources of information. Spend time with people, social media, and daily news that give you hope, joy, and solutions that lead to success in your life. ~ Jay Wren
Photo by Luke Chesser on Unsplash
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