Things we don’t think about don’t scare us. ~ www.jaywren.com
Who doesn’t have days when we worry about things going badly? We want things and worry that we will not get them. Or, we have things and worry that we will lose them.
Living in fear of what might happen is pointless and painful.
The first step to dealing with fear is to realize that our fear doesn’t exist in the things we fear. It exists inside of us. No matter how great the likelihood of something happening, worrying about it exists only in our head. Moreover, when we worry, we are scaring ourselves with our thinking. The events we fear may never happen or the consequences may not be how we fear them. Once we can accept these facts, we can begin to see ways to change our feelings and our thinking to ease or eliminate the fear.
For me, the first step to deal with worry is to learn ways to manage my feelings. To help you understand what I mean, suppose that you are worrying about giving a presentation. You are so worried that you can’t even concentrate on preparing a small outline of the presentation.
So, try one or more simple methods for reducing the power of your feelings. Here are steps I take to reduce or end the anxiety driving my worries.
Breathe: Develop your own techniques for breathing to calm your nerves. For me, I can just become aware of my breathing. I may start with a cleansing breath. By that, I mean I breathe in slowly until my lungs seem full. Then I slowly release that breath. I continue this process until my mind wanders off my breathing. Depending on how I am feeling, I may return to my breathing or I may simply return to my activities.
The second step to ending worry is to become aware of my thoughts. If I am worrying, I am thinking about something in the future. In the meantime, I may be in the middle of wonderful experiences that I can’t enjoy, because my fear dominates my thoughts.
By breathing, I move my thinking into the present moment. I focus on my breathe. From there, I can think about the people and things around me. I can enjoy life. My mind clears and I make better decisions. That presentation that frightens me becomes a project I can manage.