Category: Adapt, Innovate, Win

Letting Go:  When I get caught up in trying to control everything in my life, I am setting myself up to suffer anxiety and anger.  Becoming aware that I am holding onto painful thoughts and feelings is the first step to a higher level of thought.

Learning to let go of things I can’t control is one of the great lessons of my life. ~ www.jaywren.com

1. Letting Go of People Who Drag You Down

It is healthy to spend time with others. But spending time with people who complain and criticize sours my mood and muddles my thinking.  Hanging out with mentally healthy people helps me become mentally and emotionally healthier.

2. Letting Go of the Past and the Future

Ruminating on the past drains my energy.  Furthermore, holding onto resentments creates a permanent state of anger.

Worrying over things that have not happened creates anxiety that clutters my mind and weakens my ability to solve problems.

Getting out of my head helps me focus on what is in front of me and around me.  This focus enables me to enjoy life and be present for my family, friends, and professionals.

3. Letting Go of Guilt

Carrying around guilt lowers my self-esteem and confidence. There are only two things I can say about guilt.  Either I was wrong and will try not to do it again. I was not wrong and I am not going to worry about it.

4. Letting Go of Fear

Living with fear cripples my mind and imagination.  Many of the things I have feared never happened.

Solutions:  When I feel afraid, I take a deep breath. I step away and take a break.  Often, exercise or rest helps me move beyond the feeling of fear.

5. Letting Go of Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes. Smart people don’t dwell on their mistakes.

1. Mistake made.
2. Lesson learned.
3. Move on.

Even if I do nothing new, mistakes are inevitable. Moreover, I allow myself opportunities to do new things.  Sometimes I am pretty hard on myself, but I don’t punish myself for being less than perfect.  In a sense, there are good mistakes in that they help me learn and grow.

6. Letting Go of Obsession over Results

When I obsess with the results and not the process, I create pain and lose clarity.

Instead of obsessing over results, I do these things.

1. I create the goals.
2. Then I create a plan to reach my goal.
3. Big projects require adjustments.
4. Therefore, I update the plan.
5. However, despite the best plan and the best effort, failure happens.
6. Worrying about results creates a cluttered mind that makes me less effective.

For example, a retail goal is to make sales.  A store can plan to increase its sales when it increases the number of shoppers in the store and the amount of time each shopper spends in the store. Retail stores focus on the process of getting and keeping shoppers in their stores.

7. Letting Go of Inconsistency

One of the business clichés is to embrace change. Sometimes change is good.  Sometimes change is way to get lost in the wilderness.

Change can create many feelings.  Positive change lifts our spirits.  Negative or uncertain change is stressful.

One solution is to assess the value of changes.  From there, focus your attention and your effort on positive change.  However, don’t focus on the prospects of change.  Remember, we can’t control the future.

8. Letting Go of Being Busy

Leaders set priorities based on the things they can get done today.  This process removes anxiety over things beyond their control.  Focusing on today’s priorities empowers leaders to follow the process of their plans. However, piling extra work on extra work drains my energy and takes me away from the most important things I need to do.

Picking A Career

In picking a career, start with an understanding of what you want to do and what you need to do to have that type of career. First, answer these questions.

1. 1. What Do You Want to Do?
   2. How Important is Income?
   3. How Well Do You Tolerate Risk?
   4. Where Do You Want to Live?
   5. What Education Do You Need?
   6. What Experience Do You Need?
   7. How Do You Relate to Other People?
   8. Should You Take an Aptitude Test?
   9. Who Hires People Who Match Your Goals and Abilities?

Be Detailed and Specific in Your Answers

Write down your answers to these questions.  Compare one against the other in terms of importance.  Reshuffle the order to match your priorities. Be as specific as possible.  For example, preferences on location can range from one neighborhood to one city to anywhere across the country. Write down whether you want to work from home or work in a place outside of your home.  Write down whether you want to work for yourself or for someone else. Notice how your interests in one of these options can limit or increase your opportunity in others.

Grow and Stay Flexible to Adjust Your Career Plan to Match Changing Conditions

You should use this process or a similar process every time you evaluate the progress of your career. A career is a process of continuous growth.

For example, as a recruiter, I started with a file card system. Additionally, I used postal mail. Over time, I added a fax to my office. Then I converted my file card system to a computer contact manager system.  Email replaced postal mail. Instead of making calls to reach people, I emailed people who were in meetings and seldom could get to their phone.

In Conclusion

Remain curious. Accept the realities of an ever-changing world of business.  You might need to return to college or obtain new credentials or certifications.  Continue to read to stay current with events of the day.  Strengthen your professional skills to become more effective in working with other people and to grow into greater responsibility.

Image Marketing: High-powered social media and mass media create an image of how they want you to see them. They are consistent with their message and their image creates loyalty among their followers.

Align Your Image with a Cause

More than establishing a theme for your social media, create a cause: political, charitable, social, career, personal growth, and educational causes show depth in your message. They help you develop your image with a consistent message.

Caveat: The cause must be consistent with the image you are creating in your marketing theme. Politics, religion, even education can trigger people.  And that is fine as long as the triggers draw the audience you are developing.

Dress for Your Audience

If you follow social media czars, you know that they dress for their audience. Gary Vaynerchuk, author, entrepreneur, best-selling author, social media guru owns a tie, but there aren’t many pictures of him wearing it.  Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson wears clothes for his Instagram feed (@therock) and Twitter feed #dwaynejohnson that display the images of the characters he plays in his movies: large, powerful, smiling, and approachable. Nearly always in a gym, he is the sweatiest man on the Internet!

Puncher or Counter Puncher?

On the other hand, are you a counter puncher? Leading political media figures are counter punchers. They take issue with their opposition. Television, radio, and Internet counter punchers are very effective in the political arena. They use anger and fear to trigger intense emotions in their audience.

Image Marketing Needs Consistency

In closing, as you develop your image, choose messages that you believe in. This choice ensures that you can consistently create a message that is genuine. You create faithful followers who identify with your image. Additionally, as you create content, you gain experience and knowledge that makes you more effective in building a credible image.

Listening Failure: What makes us ineffective listeners? What are solutions to overcoming listening failure? Here are steps for more effective communication.

The Value of Overcoming Listening Failure

Effective listening is important in all parts of our lives.  In our personal relations, effective communications can help us build strong, long-term bonds. In networking, effective communications can help us create trust with the new people we meet. Whether interviewing for a job or building success in our current job, effective communications will help us create success.

Take Away the Bias

Listening failure happens on both sides of the table.  To prevent these failures, both the listener and the speaker must keep an open mind.  They must set aside their feelings and focus on the meaning of the message.

Better Speakers Create Better Listeners

More effective speakers deliver clear, concise presentations.  They connect their message to the conscious mind of the speaker.  The seek feedback from the listener to create a more effective message.

Great Listeners Create Better Speakers

The most effective people know how to ask great questions and to learn from listening. ~ www.jaywren.com

Great listeners look for the message and help the speaker present their information.  They listen without judgement. When appropriate, they ask questions and collaborate in making the presentation a discussion.

Tactfully, of course, great leaders teach the team how to give persuasive presentations.

Steps to Prevent Listening Failure

For the listeners and the speaker, there are basics to have great communications.

1. Stop what you are doing.
2. Silence your phone.
3. Look at the person who is speaking.
4. Ask questions when you need clarification.
5. Examine the discussion to see whether there is a recommended action.
6. At the conclusion, repeat the subject to your speaker and ask if they have additional, helpful information.

Conclusion

In conclusion, listening failure happens on both sides of the table.  To prevent these failures, both the listener and the speaker must keep an open mind.  They must set aside their feelings and focus on the message not the messenger. Both sides must eliminate distractions and focus on creating effective communications.