Category: Personal and Professional Development

Poise is not always automatic. Nearly everyone feels uncertain and lacks poise from time-to-time. How do successful people restore their confidence and maintain their poise in challenging situations?

Poise starts between our ears and spreads through our heart and our gut and then outward through our face and our gestures. ~ www.jaywren.com

Situations that Weaken our Poise

Our insecurities can make it difficult for us to feel confident and poised.  A lack of experience or a bad experience can undermine our poise. Situations where we fear people are judging us weakens our confidence and poise. Especially public speaking plays with our fears that people are judging us and undermines our ability to speak effectively.

My Personal Experience
Although I feel confident to give a prepared presentation, I can feel uncertain when I know that people are looking over my shoulder and judging me.  When I first became a salesman, for example, I lacked the poise to give presentations in front of supervisors.  It took months before I had the confidence to relax and be more effective. Not only did my product knowledge improve and lead to more confidence. I also learned that my role was not to show how impressive I was. Rather, I learned that the purpose of my call was to help buyers understand what they needed to know to make an intelligent decision about my programs and products.

Even with the increased comfort of giving sales presentations in front my supervisors, I learned the importance of developing skills for restoring my confidence and increasing my poise.

Poise: Steps to Confidence and Increasing Your Potential

Over time, I have developed tools to help me feel more confident.  Some of these are simple. Others take time and practice.  Here are tools I have developed to create energy and confidence around other people.

Breathe

You don’t have to stop for a 20-minute mindfulness meditation to use breathing to gather composure.  Anxiety can suppress our breathing.  A lack of oxygen creates even more anxiety.  However, replenishing oxygen with a breath can reduce anxiety.

Breathe in slowly.  Mentally focus on your breath.  The process will give your body the oxygen to burn the adrenaline from anxiety.  Furthermore, focusing on your breathing redirects your thinking from your anxiety to a calming breath and allows you to become spontaneous.  You will return to an effective mental flow of your tasks. With the present moment mental flow, you will gather composure.

Listen with a Purpose

Focus on what people are saying.  Ask yourself why they are saying those things.  Think of how the information from other people is useful to you.  Seeing the benefits in another person’s message takes your focus off your insecurities and creates positive feelings about what you are learning.

Practice Intelligent Silence

Intelligent silence is powerful. Attending meetings and listening helps us understand the proposals, the discussion, and the decisions. Additionally, listening helps us give meaningful feedback and input. We appear more thoughtful and poised. When we do speak, we become a valuable contributor to the discussion.

Bring an Agenda

Come to meetings with a list of things that you want to know and things you want to say.  This approach is especially helpful when you are attending a job interview. Having the agenda in front of you creates focus and empowers you with confidence that you are at the meeting with a purpose.

Giving Support to Others

Giving your support to others in meetings takes your focus off your insecurities. In seeing how you can help others get their message heard, you create focus on the purpose of the meeting and not on how you feel about yourself.

Conclusion

Creating skills for poise can help us in every aspect of our careers. Additionally, these skills help us enjoy the times when we are with our friends and family.  Equally important, these skills even help us get out of our head and into the flow of the present moment. When we are working alone or simply relaxing alone, we can enjoy the pleasures of poise.

Effective Communications are part of the job for professionals in all types of fields and responsibilities. Here are 7 ideas for communication success.

Headlines

Even when speaking, you will help people understanding you with a headline.  The headline states the topic. “Bill, let’s talk about the plan for this weekend” is a simple sentence that let’s Bill know what you are discussing.

In writing, where you put the headline depends on what you are writing. In a letter or an email, the headline goes in to the subject. In your LinkedIn profile, the headline goes next to your name.  In a resume, the headline can be a short statement below your contact information.

Clear Communication: The Opening Paragraph

For most effective communication, state the purpose of the discussion in the opening paragraph.  Note that the purpose is more than the subject.  The purpose includes the subject and the reason for discussing that subject.  For example,

“So, that we don’t overlook anything, Bill, let’s talk about the plan for this weekend.”

One Subject at a Time

Whether writing or speaking, you will have more success by sticking to one subject at a time.

Busy people tend to look for the point.  Once they find it, their mind is ready take action or to file the information.

Additionally, jumping back and forth on different subjects confuses people.

New Subject Introduction

Sometimes, you need to discuss several subjects in one meeting or correspondence.  When you do, you can help the other person follow your discussion with transitional tools.

In a conversation, you can state that you are moving on to a new subject.

When writing, use subheadings, all caps, bold type, or initial caps at the beginning of each subject.  The switch from normal style to one of these four styles highlights that you are moving on to a new topic or subtopic.

The reader may only have time to scan information.  Your key points stand out in the brief statements that you highlight with subheadings and initial caps.

Transitional Devices

Transitional devices are a bridge to help the reader follow you from one sentence or paragraph to the next.  Additionally, these words or phrases can help your reader know whether you are adding more information on a subject or moving on to a new one.

They are signals to smooth the flow of your message.

Here are some examples.

1. Write a transitional statement such: “Now I would like to discuss a new subject.”
2. Use transitional words such as “also, so, for this purpose, later, furthermore.
3. Time categories help you reader following your message: First, Second, Third, and so forth.
4. Additionally, bullet points or numbered lists are excellent when making short phrases are statements.

Proofreading

Grammar is as important as content. I carefully proofread what I have written and use word processing software to check for mistakes.  I still make mistakes.  If you see any mistakes in my writing, please let me know.

Vocabulary Development

I make it a habit to look up words I don’t know.  Furthermore, my curiosity prompts me to read articles about new terms.  Today, in this digital world, the flow of information gives me the opportunity to grow professionally and personally.

Here are some examples of new words or topics I have learned in the past 5 to 10 years.

• “Disruptive” in reference to innovation
• “Emotional Intelligence“
• “Mindfulness” in reference to focusing attention on the present moment; also, in reference to breathing meditation

Effective Communications: Conclusion

In conclusion, the formula for saying or writing anything is simple. Start with a headline.  Second, state the subject in the opening sentence.  If you wish to write about multiple topics, just say so clearly in the opening.

Use capital letters, subheadings, and transitional devices to introduce each new subject.

Your listeners and readers will appreciate your effort to communicate effectively.

Furthermore, you will find that people take more action and give you better responses with effective communications.

Passionate Choices: Common sense tells us to sleep, exercise, and eat correctly.  How do we find the passion for making healthy choices?

Are You Struggling?

If you are struggling, you are not alone. Tens of millions of Americans do not get enough sleep, do not exercise regularly, and eat processed food that makes them overweight.

Common Sense is not Enough.

It seems to me that most people have the common sense to know how their energy, mental clarity, and self-esteem rise with healthy habits.

However, according to the National Institute of Health, one-third of Americans are not getting enough sleep. Two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese.

Spending Money is Not the Answer.

According to various articles online, Americans spend between $40 and $60 billion each year on sleep aids, weight loss, and exercise programs.

Taking sleep aids may make it easier for us to fall asleep. People who stay up too late and take a sleep aid to go to sleep are more tired than people who simply go to bed on time.

Believing that a financial commitment will lead to a change of behavior, people sign a year-long contract to a gym in January. By March, most people had stopped going regularly. Others do not go at all.

Additionally, other people buy expensive exercise equipment. Much of this equipment ends up gathering dust in the corner or on Craigslist.

Passionate Choices: How People Form Healthy Habits

People talk all the time about following their passion in their careers. To create healthy habits in our lives, we must find healthy habits that stir our passions for healthy living.

No one has needs to tell avid golfers to get off the sofa. They are too passionate about playing golf to care about the sofa.  Tennis, fishing, soccer, softball, basketball, running, sailing, or any exercise that stirs our passions are good choices for creating new habits.

I have switched activities from time to time. But I continue to find new physical activities that I love.

As for eating healthy foods, I have never given up cake or ice cream. However, for 6 days of each week, I eat things that are healthiest for me instead. I have good luck with eating a ketogenic diet. My eating plan is 10 percent carbohydrates, 20-25 percent protein, and 65-70 percent protein. I track what I eat and track my weight.

About once a week, I purposely drift away from my eating plan to eat the most indulgent things I can find. And I reminded myself the next day that I had planned to eat that way for one-day week.

Then I return to my keto eating plan. The indulgent day kick-starts my metabolism into high gear. It is not just a day of pleasure. The indulgent day is a day of necessity. I have fun and feel passionate about the way I eat and about the results.

Breaking Habits: How to Quit by Doing Something Else

The simple way to overcome procrastination and complete large tasks is to complete a set of measured steps every day.
Jay Wren

Measured Steps: Some projects require months, even years to complete. How do successful people set deadlines and achieve success throughout the year?

Project Management

Large organizations have people who specialize in project management. Many of these people have years of experience. Additionally, project managers often have certifications that qualify them to manage large projects.

But what about the people who don’t have the capacity to hire project managers? How do sole proprietors and small start-ups keep projects moving ahead on time?

Procrastination

Anyone can suffer from procrastination. Especially, large projects can discourage people from even starting to work on them.

The easiest way to overcome procrastination is to take one simple action. If you need to go for a run, first just lace your shoes.

Simple, Identical, Daily Reminders Are Useless

For large projects, a simple, daily, identical reminder to work on routine daily tasks is pointless. Why do you even create daily general reminders for something that you do every day?
Here are some examples routine tasks that you can omit from your daily reminders: read emails, return phone calls, attend 10:00 AM daily meeting.

On the other hand, you should have a list of tasks as they pertain to specific issues. For example, “Call ABC’s buyer to confirm the order.” “Schedule a meeting with the distribution team to solve delivery issues.”

Specific Measured Steps

For me, dividing a task into smaller tasks is effective for completing long-term larger projects. I schedule these steps according to priority and deadline. I measure them in terms of details, time, date, and time allowed for each of these steps.

Whether a person is writing a book or starting a retail business, they can create a list of the steps that they must take to reach finishing the project.  Then break these measured steps into achievable daily goals.

In some cases, you must have tasks running simultaneously. Even though the tasks are simultaneous, you can’t do either of these two things at the same time. Therefore, break your task into units that you can complete during a single day.

List these things on your daily calendar as specific measured steps in terms of details and time you will spend on a task and the time you will start it.

Conclusion

Can’t afford project managers? These steps help you create your own system for managing large projects.

Self-awareness: Some people become victims of their feelings and thoughts. How can developing self-awareness change victim thinking to action thinking?

Self-awareness is knowing and understanding how our feelings and thoughts occur inside our own mind and body.  Furthermore, this knowledge and understanding can show us effective ways to act on the things that trigger the way we see and respond to the world.

The Negatives of Lacking Self-Awareness

In response to pain from the past, present, or future experiences, we often turn our focus on what’s happening in our mind and in our body. We have a sensation of lack of control over our circumstances.  We don’t focus on solutions. Instead, we turn painful thoughts over and over in our mind.

The most difficult thoughts are those about things beyond our control.  By focusing on our faults, we add to the frustration and fear that we experience.  When these feelings become intense enough, they blind us to options and solutions. We feel trapped.

The Benefits of Self-Awareness

On the other hand, people who are self-aware know that feelings happen inside themselves. They turn their focus away from their feelings and thoughts and toward the world around them. These people live in the present moment. They don’t think about the past or the future. Additionally, they trust that however things turn out, they have the ability to develop to tools to deal with them.  In short, they have confidence and know freedom from fear and frustration.

Relationships: A Higher Level of Self-Awareness

Furthermore, people with self-awareness are available and engaged with others.  They have a higher capacity to listen and a greater capacity to respond appropriately.

Self-awareness empowers people to be more successful leaders and better friends.  They realize the effect their actions have on the people around them.

Furthermore, people who are aware of how their actions affect other people become more effective in motivating others, in changing public opinion, and have the potential to direct large masses.

Ending Perfection Paralysis: How do successful people end the compulsion to rework projects and move on to create new ones?

My Personal Struggles with Ending Perfection Paralysis

I have worked on drafts of articles so many times that I have lost track of what I had in mind when I started writing the article.

Additionally, in reviewing older blog posts, I see ways that I could have written the post better.  However, few people will ever see those posts. Taking time to continually review and rewrite old material takes away from my time to create new work.

The Perfectionist as a Manager

The worst case of perfection affecting performance I have seen was the case of a former supervisor.  He placed so much emphasis on everything being exactly the way he wanted that everyone struggled through countless changes to meet his expectations. Whether dealing with correspondence, maintenance, or production, he would continue to look for flaws in everything.  He would insist that things be done to meet his idea of how they things should be done.

When this person left, his replacement was just the opposite in his management of people and requirements for perfection.  He knew that he had intelligent, conscientious people working for him.  He would carefully review the finished products and perhaps make changes.  However, he also knew that countless unnecessary revisions were just a waste of time.

Peak performance comes from knowing when to move on to the next project.

Money Saved and Money Earned.

The first obvious benefit of ending perfection paralysis is that people become more productive.  However, there are other benefits.

The principle of ending perfection saves money and builds businesses to make more money.  Every time a company revises or reworks anything, the company spends money and creates delays in profitable productivity.

Reduced Risks of Mistakes

Additionally, some products may undergo changes that introduce errors that must be caught before the revised product can be released. Every time I revise my material, I risk making errors in the new material.

Changes of schedules or procedures in groups of people create risks of confusion.  Inevitably the more changes to a schedule will result in an increase in the likelihood that more people will fail to know and meet the schedule.

I first observed this when I was a young manager and there was a flight change involving eight people.  No one got the information about the change.  All eight people missed the flight. Having been involved in countless scheduling situations since that time, I have made it a practice to hold people to their commitments to stick to schedules.

Solutions to Ending Perfection Paralysis

Some people may need professional help to end their endless perfection. These people have a compulsion.  Consistent with compulsions in drinking or taking drugs, people with a compulsion to rework their projects may have an addiction. These people may need professional help to overcome their addiction to perfection.

On the other hand, learning the signs of perfectionism can help you let go of the desire to rework a project.  Here are some techniques that may work for you.

Get feedback. Work in teams where consensus can help you release your work and move on to new projects.

Establish parameters.  State the purpose of a project.  Layout out the details. Once you have completed a project so that it fulfills its purpose, you can know when it is time to release the project.

Set the project aside for a day. Backing away from a project to let yourself view your work objectively will help you recognize when you are reworking a finished project.

Respect: What do people do to gain respect from others?  Here are 10 things that will help you build relationships and increase the respect that others have for you.

Life is much easier when people respect us to the point that they want to give us their support. ~ www.jaywren.com

Relationships and Respect

The quality of our personal and work relationships is the result of the respect other people give us and the respect that we give to other people.

Although what other people do is beyond our control, the most powerful people know how to influence the response of the people around them. You can as well.

Give Credit

People gain respect when they give credit to the correct person.  Giving credit is a compliment with substance.

On the other hand, people who claim credit for the work of other people lose respect.   People who know that these people are undeserving of that credit will resent the dishonesty.

If you give credit, you will gain respect among your friends and among people who can affect your career.

Admit Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes.  Successful people admit them and do not repeat them.  People will respect you if you correct your mistakes and move on.

Don’t make excuses for failing to do your work.  Be honest.  You just did not do the work.  You regret it.  When you admit your mistakes and not repeat them, you will get respect.

Do Your Job

Get a copy of your job description.  Read it with your boss.  Discuss what you are doing with your boss.  When you are uncertain about what you are doing, ask your boss for information.

And don’t just do your job. Be conscientious about the way you do your job.

Everyone will respect you for knowing and doing what you are supposed to do.

Let Other People Do Their Job

First, don’t let people take advantage of you.  Being a team player and helping other people occasionally is one thing.  Having people use you to do their work is not the way to get respect at work.

Second, do not interfere with other people by meddling in their job.  People do not always want your advice.  People certainly do not want you to do their job and take credit for what their work.

By respecting the space of other people to do their job, you will get respect.

Lighten Up

Don’t take yourself too seriously.  Insisting that your priorities are the only things that matter will create resentments.  If you come to work every day and load the workplace with pressure, you will create tension.

Be sincere.  Work hard.  Be straightforward with your supervisors, co-workers, and people you manage.  Take your work seriously.  However, don’t take everything so seriously that you can’t accept mistakes and adjustments in the daily routine.

Lighten up. People will enjoy working with you, and you will get respect.

Keep Your Word

Honor your commitments.  If you know that you can’t do something or that you will not do something, be honest about it.  Don’t make a commitment to do things that you can’t or will not do.  Keeping your word is basic to getting respect.

Be Punctual

If you are late all the time, people will quickly get weary of dealing with you.  Arrive at your appointments early.   Complete your work ahead of time.  Reduce the pressure on others having to worry about when your punctuality.

You will get respect when people know they can trust you to be at work on time and complete your work on time.

Avoid Gossip

A quick way to ruin relationships is to gossip.  Avoid people who gossip.  The only people who respect people who gossip are other people who gossip.

Protect Confidences

When someone tells you something personal or private, keep it to yourself.  Even if you do not make a commitment to keep the information private, respect the trust that people have given you. People do not respect people who break their confidences.

Peak performance is not only about how effective you are today, but how effective you are throughout your career. ~ www.jaywren.com

Here are 8 steps that will help you manage and build your skills to accomplish more.

Peak Performance

1. Seek Advice
2. Gain the Extra Yard
3. Do One More Task
4. Read
5. Focus on Solutions not Problems
6. Turn Your Solutions into Services
7. Build and Diversify Your Network
8. Set Goals

Seek Advice

Seek advice before acting on important decisions. It is so easy for me to go into difficult situations and make large decisions with the belief that I already have all the answers.  It is equally easy for me to overlook things that I should have considered before acting. I better understand my circumstances and find far greater solutions by discussing my decisions before acting,

Gain the Extra Yard

Get the greatest results from each activity. The National Football League wide receiver Jerry Rice holds 23 NFL records.  He caught long passes.  More importantly is the number of yards he gained after he caught the pass. It is those extra yards that enabled him to set so many of those records.

Business professionals can do a better job for their company by identifying those small details that turn mediocre projects into hugely successful projects. They do the same tasks everyone else does and achieve greater results than anyone else.  One example of how these people achieve excellence is that they set a finished product aside overnight and return to it when they have a fresh perspective.

These people build companies like Apple, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, and so on across the spectrum. What these companies have in common is they gain the extra yards to make their products exceed the quality of their competitors.

Do One More Task

When you finish your work before the end of the day, do at least one more task before leaving work.  It is easy to sit around at the end of the day. It may feel good to leave early.  By starting and completing one more task on the days when you have extra time, you will find that your production will rise dramatically.  If you add and complete one extra task per week, you will complete fifty more tasks over the course of the year.  Your company will benefit.  Your value to your company will grow.

For example, when I was a new sales rep at Procter & Gamble, I went from last in the district to first and held that position throughout my time at P&G.  What did I do to change my standings? After I finished my schedule for the day, I made an extra sales call. Sometimes these calls were just retail visits.  However, these small efforts added up to make a huge difference in my productivity.

Read

Regularly read articles and books about your job and your goals.  Nearly every job continues to evolve.  Many jobs disappear entirely. New information and tools become available to make job performance easier and make you more marketable.  Take advantage of this information to grow in professional value and for personal enrichment.

Focus on Solutions not Problems

Everyone has problems.  Everyone encounters obstacles.  It is easy to procrastinate or give up instead of acting on these obstacles.

However, by focusing on solutions, you can develop effective, often new ways of dealing with these obstacles.

Turn Your Solutions into Services

As you create solutions, look for ways to help other people use your solutions.  People have founded companies based on providing products and services to overcome common obstacles.   If you can sell the solutions you have developed in overcoming obstacles, you have a business.

Build and Diversify Your Network

Continue to expand your network of friends and mentors.  My son has multiple circles of friends.  The people in each of these circles are people he has met at different times and in different settings.  Some of these friends are from high school classes. Other friends come from his sports activities.  Additionally, he has friends from college and his career.

Since graduating from college, he has met these people from different circles to pick up new hobbies and to travel. Additionally, he has long-term relations with people in his career. These people are valuable assets to help with solutions in his career.

Set Goals

Continue to set goals.  Goal setting will help you focus on your daily plan. Furthermore, goal setting can have a subconscious power to drive your actions even when you are not working directly from a daily plan.

Having goals can give you a sense of purpose and a feeling of accomplishment.  Rather than focusing on the ruts of your life, you can focus on your goals and how to move toward them.  Goals lead to peak performance.