Category: Personal and Professional Development

The most successful people do many things to live successful lives.  Here are four practices that enable them to keep a clear head, make better decisions, accomplish more, and have a well-balanced life.

The most successful people focus on solutions.

These people don’t obsess about things that worry them.  Worry is a normal emotion and helps us by calling our attention to the problems that we face in the future.  Successful people don’t allow themselves to ruminate over the future.  They see opportunities, solutions, and success.  Next, they create plans and take action.  Additionally, they are too busy becoming successful to spend time worrying.

The most successful people pause when they feel panicked.

They know to pause rather than surrender to the panic emotions of fight or flight.  Rather, they pause and clear their mind.  They take a deep breath, and step away from the problem.  Additionally, they don’t dash off text messages, emails, or make hasty phone calls that make problems worse.

The most successful people do not become embroiled in hasty arguments that ruin relationships. They rise above the visceral feelings that hijack their intellect and block their critical thinking.

The most successful people get in and get things done.

I worked with a recruiter who would drop her kids off at school, go straight to her office, and work until 3:00 PM.  She would then pick up her kids, drive home, and prepare dinner.  Where many recruiters work forty to fifty-hour hours a week to fill twenty jobs a month, she would fill seventy-five to one hundred jobs a month and only work thirty-five hours a week.  I examined her routine carefully.  Although she did not few things that differently from other recruiters.  She just did them more quickly.

The most successful people have a balanced life.

Successful people live a balanced life.  They work hard.  Sometimes they push themselves to finish a project, even weeks at a time.  But they know to take breaks.  They take time for their family.  Many of these people take time to give to their communities and their causes.  They make wise choices in the food they eat.  Additionally, they take time to exercise.  They take time to rest. They take time for recreation and entertainment.

In Conclusion

The most successful people follow many practices that lead them to live successful lives.  Four of these practices enable them to keep a clear head, make better decisions, do more, and have a well-balanced life.

Communication:  Effective speaking and writing are part of the job for professionals in all types of fields and responsibilities. Here are some ideas to make your business and personal communications more powerful.

Headlines

Even when speaking, you will help people understanding you with a headline.  The headline states the topic. “Bill, let’s talk about the plan for this weekend” is a simple sentence that let’s Bill know what you are discussing.

In writing, where you put the headline depends on what you are writing. In a letter or an email, the headline goes in to the subject. In your LinkedIn profile, the headline goes next to your name.  In a resume, the headline can be a short statement below your contact information.

Clear Communication: The Opening Paragraph

For most effective communication, state the purpose of the discussion in the opening paragraph.  Note that the purpose is more than the subject.  The purpose includes the subject and the reason for discussing that subject.  For example,

“So, that we don’t overlook anything, Bill, let’s talk about the plan for this weekend.”

One Subject at a Time

Whether writing or speaking, you will have more success by sticking to one subject at a time.

Busy people tend to look for the point.  Once they find it, their mind is ready take action or to file the information.

Additionally, jumping back and forth on different subjects confuses people.

New Subject Introduction

Sometimes, you need to discuss several subjects in one meeting or correspondence.  When you do, you can help the other person follow your discussion with transitional tools.

In a conversation, you can state that you are moving on to a new subject.

When writing, use subheadings, all caps, bold type, or initial caps at the beginning of each subject.  The switch from normal style to one of these four styles highlights that you are moving on to a new topic or subtopic.

The reader may only have time to scan information.  Your key points stand out in the brief statements that you highlight with subheadings and initial caps.

Transitional Devices

Transitional devices are a bridge to help the reader follow you from one sentence or paragraph to the next.  Additionally, these words or phrases can help your reader know whether you are adding more information on a subject or moving on to a new one.

They are signals to smooth the flow of your message.
Here are some examples.

1. Write a transitional statement such: “Now I would like to discuss a new subject.”
2. Use transitional words such as “also, so, for this purpose, later, furthermore.
3. Time categories help you reader following your message: First, Second, Third, and so forth.
4. Additionally, bullet points or numbered lists are excellent when making short phrases are statements.

Proofreading

Grammar is as important as content. I carefully proofread what I have written and use word processing software to check for mistakes.  I still make mistakes.  If you see any mistakes in my writing, please let me know.

Vocabulary Development

I make it a habit to look up words I don’t know.  Furthermore, my curiosity prompts me to read articles about new terms.  Today, in this digital world, the flow of information gives me the opportunity to grow professionally and personally.

Here are some examples of new words or topics I have learned in the past 5 to 10 years.

“Disruptive” in reference to innovation “Emotional Intelligence” “Mindfulness” in reference to focusing attention on the present moment; also, in reference to breathing meditation

Conclusion

In conclusion, the formula for saying or writing anything is simple. Start with a headline.  Second, state the subject in the opening sentence.  If you wish to write about multiple topics, just say so clearly in the opening.

Use capital letters, subheadings, and transitional devices to introduce each new subject.

Your listeners and readers will appreciate your effort to communicate effectively.

Furthermore, you will find that people take more action and give you better responses with effective communications.

Collaboration where the goal is to create results where, “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.” ~ Aristotle

How do companies create teams where team members produce greater results together than working separately? How do great leaders create powerful teams? Here are some ideas to help answer those questions.

Collaboration by Combining Different Skills and Different Experience

For the greatest power of synergy, surround yourself with people who know things that you don’t know.

Synergy is the process of combining the efforts of individuals or organizations to produce greater results together than the total combined results of working separately.

For example, let’s say that companies X, Y, and Z earn a total of $5 million working separately.  However, by merging their efforts, these three companies earn $10 million.

The efforts of the synergistic teams do more than add more hands working on the assembly line.  These teams add people who empower each other through the combination of their different skills and experience.

First-Hand Experience

There are multiple reasons why collaboration is so effective.  One of the reasons is that synergy fills in the gaps of knowledge among individuals or among individual organizations.

A simple example is my experience in teaming up with other recruiters to share work. Together, we each made more money by combining our resources than each of us would have made working alone.  I had recruiting contracts and job applicants.  The other firms had different recruiting contracts and different job applicants.

By working with each other, we could accelerate filling jobs by helping each other find job applicants for our recruiting contracts.

In most companies, departments work separately to do their jobs.  Sales planning does sales planning.  Marketing does marketing.  Manufacturing does manufacturing.

But some projects require knowledge from each of these departments.  Collaboration empowers teams from separate departments to produce greater results by filling in the knowledge gaps among the teams.

Collaborating with Specialists

A simple Case study:  Collaborating with specialists helps people focus on what they do best. Writers know how to write.  Some writers can do a reasonable job of editing their own work.  Also, most writers can figure out how to copyright their material.  However, writers can produce far more material by just writing and having experts handle the other tasks in publishing a book.

Time Management: Success comes from getting things done. Successful people use their time effectively to accomplish more. ~ www.jaywren.com

Big Projects and Time Management

When going through lengthy periods with big projects, I sometimes forget to set a daily schedule.  Deadlines come at me quickly. The most pressing tasks take priority over everything else.

But not keeping a schedule on busy days is a mistake.  I overlook small things that are still critical to overall success.  Furthermore, I let the demands of a big project become a flurry of activity that can take me off daily tasks that are critical to the project.

Returning to Time Management

When I stop keeping a schedule, my days become less productive. I wander off task.

I check my email.  Then, I check online for messages.  Next, I click around a couple of websites to stimulate my thinking for new projects.  Even though I have been very busy, I accomplish little or nothing.

Daily Schedule: Activities with Objectives

I schedule an activity.  Then I add what I plan to accomplish. I learned this lesson at Procter & Gamble.  I not only scheduled my sales appointments.  I list what I must accomplish during those appointments.

Scheduling an activity and a list of objectives is effective with personal matters.  For example, I have a doctor’s appointment on my schedule. I add the things I need to discuss with the doctor during my visit. My visit is more effective as I cover all the tasks I have for the doctor.
For me, there are several benefits to including objectives to my list of things to do.

1. I don’t overlook important issue.
2. Stating objectives is stimulates creativity.  I awaken my mind to more opportunities.
3. Each day, I accomplish more.  Over the years, these accomplishments create greater success.
4. I do one thing at a time.

Status Board 

As I complete tasks, I mark them completed.  At the end of the day, I review the schedule for tasks to reschedule.

My schedule is a status board of tasks done and not done.  I know which tasks I can put out of my mind.  Furthermore, I have the confidence of knowing that I will continue to stay on tasks the following day.

New Year Success: The new year is a great time to reset routines.  Here are things that I am doing to make this year fun and productive.

• Plan play time
• Spend Time with Supportive People
• Meet New People and Make New Friends
• Spend Twenty Minutes for Quiet Time
• Forgive My Enemies

New Year Success

Do more than make resolutions to lose weight, exercise, and work harder for New Year Success.

Do things that will make you happier and emotionally stronger. Empower your new year success with greater physical and mental health.

Plan Play Time

Before scheduling anything else on your calendar, schedule time for recreation.  Certainly, plan recreational things to do on your days off.

Furthermore, schedule recreation for the middle of the work week.  Sports activities are excellent ways to relieve stress and have fun during work week. A few holes of golf.  Basketball, softball, baseball, golf.  Something you enjoy and that helps you relieve stress and relieve emotional kinks.

Including your friends in these activities reinforces your commitment.

Spend Time with Supportive People

Good company does more than make life fun.  Family members and friends who encourage you build your confidence.  Furthermore, these people can help you find solutions and succeed in difficult times.

Meet New People and Make New Friends

Go places where you can make friends with people who share your interests.  Health club. places of worship. business conferences, and meetups are some places where you can meet new people.

Furthermore, meeting and connecting with new people helps you extend your network and discover new ideas for success.

Twenty Minutes of Quiet Time

Take twenty minutes a day to rest and clear my mind.  Rest your eyes. Meditate. Pray. Take a nap. Take a walk.

Set a time that works with your schedule.  That is, first thing in the morning, during the work day, or after work.

Find a place where you can sit quietly.  Close your eyes and relax.

Practice Forgiveness

Anger and resentments rob us of peace and gratitude for the rewards in our life.

Holding on to anger and resentments builds tension and drains our energy.

Letting go of these feelings helps us return to the present moment and enjoy life more.

inning Behavior: The things we don’t do are as important as the things we do to be a winner in the workplace. Here are eight things to avoid as you work to build a successful career and become a leader among your peers.

Sometimes it’s the things that you don’t do that count the most. ~ www.jaywren.com

The Pitfalls to Winning Behavior

Some of the pitfalls to winning behavior are habits that seem normal, but annoy others and detract from our accomplishments.  I have been guilty of some of the things I am going to discuss.  Seeing the harm of these habits has helped me become more engaged with other people and more mindful of their needs and interests.

In ways that I can’t measure, avoiding these behaviors has help me build relationships and increase my network.

1. Using Long, Uncommon Words

Building your vocabulary is a good practice. However, using big words to try to sound intelligent and impress people is phony and annoying.  Furthermore, using long or uncommon words confuses people and detracts from your point.

It is narcissistic to throw around words that few people know or that people know as pretentious. You become like a person who poses in front of the mirror in a public restroom.

As a lesson about my own use of words that meant little but I used to impress others, my Mother once said to me, “You are so bombastic and I am so illiterate that you will have to elucidate for me to comprehend.” Lesson delivered, lesson learned.

2. Using Facilities and Parking for the Handicapped

People who need handicapped facilities have no choice.  They need them when they need them.

Abusing the use of handicapped parking is not only annoying, it is illegal.  Most states have stiff fines for using handicapped parking without legal authorization.  Furthermore, most people have no tolerance for people who abuse the use of handicapped parking.

Restroom facilities become more challenging, because some locations only have one or two stalls.  I have been in a one-stall restroom when a person in a wheelchair was waiting in line. The situation was awkward even though I had no choice. The best practice is, whenever possible, to defer to people who might need the handicapped facility.

3. Yacking on Your Cell Phone

There is something odd about strangers carrying on a conversation on a cell phone when they are next to you.

They have entered your space and are holding a conversation that doesn’t involve you.

I have been guilty of using a cell phone in a supermarket.  As my wife gave me instructions on the things she wanted me to buy, I passed one shopper three times.  The third time he suggested that I stop walking around talking on my phone and make a list.

This was an awakening to me just how easily cell conversations annoy the people around us.

Around the office, it is good to be aware when you are carrying on cell phone conversations around people who aren’t involved in the discussion.

4. Winning Behavior in Meetings

Texting and sending emails on a phone at the wrong time can be just as annoying.

At work, you can quickly annoy people, including people you need to impress.  Look at the situation.  You are in a meeting, and everyone is discussing the topic of the meeting.  Your mind wanders from the discussion, and you suddenly feel the urge to send a message or read your email.

You mind tells you that you must deal with your priorities. However, you are creating a distraction for everyone in the room.  People who are in a meeting are mentally like members in a marching band.  They are in coordination. When you start texting or sending emails, you break step and become a distraction.

5. Blocking the Exits

Blocking the exits or any other passageway is annoying.  Some people do not know how to navigate blocked hallways or aisles.  Other people feel awkward asking to get past.

People often gather at the entrance to meetings or at the door when leaving.  If this is a problem in your office, I recommend that the senior person in the room ask people not to block the door when they are leaving.

On the other hand, if you do need to get past people in a blocked passageway, simply say, “Pardon me.

6. Constant Complaining

Negative information creates bad moods.  A constant flow of negative information destroys morale and increases turnover.

Everyone has problems.  Solving those problems makes you look like a leader.  Whining about those problems not only is annoying.  It soon makes you look incompetent.

Instead of complaining, especially constant complaining, focus on solutions.

7. Self-Reference

Receiving credit for your work is a crucial step in the path to success.  However, constantly talking about yourself is annoying and makes people see you as shallow.

If you are not receiving credit for the work you are doing. talk with your managers.  Having them reference your accomplishments is far more effective than when you are doing it.  Furthermore, avoiding this behavior has helped me build a strong network.

Additionally, give credit to other people for their accomplishments.  People not only enjoy receiving credit.  They often remember the people who helped them receive credit.  This type of winning behavior will help you build a powerful network.

8. Trying to Be Funny

I remember an article that helped me know that not everyone understands the impact of their failed attempts at humor.  The author started his article with religious jokes.  These jokes were off topic.

The jokes weren’t clever.  They were flippant.  Furthermore, they distracted from the point of the article.

The author was undermining his own work, by not practicing winning behavior.

Passionate Living:  Common sense tells us to sleep, exercise, and eat correctly.  How do we find the passion for a healthy life?

Are You Struggling?

If you are struggling, you are not alone. Tens of millions of Americans do not get enough sleep, do not exercise regularly, and eat processed food that makes them overweight.

Common Sense is not Enough.

It seems to me that most people have the common sense to know how their energy, mental clarity, and self-esteem rise with healthy habits.

However, one-third of Americans are not getting enough sleep. Two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese.

Spending Money is Not the Answer.

According to various articles online, Americans spend between $40 and $60 billion each year on sleep aids, weight loss, and exercise programs.

Buying sleep aids doesn’t change our behavior.  People who stay up too late and take a sleep aid to go to sleep are more tired than people who simply go to bed on time.

Believing that a financial commitment will lead to a change of behavior, people sign a year-long contract to a gym in January.  By March, most people have stopped going regularly.  Others don’t go at all.

Additionally, other people buy expensive exercise equipment.  Much of this equipment ends up gathering dust in the corner or on Craigslist.

Passionate Living: How People Form Healthy Habits

No one has needs to tell avid golfers to get off the sofa.  They are too passionate about playing golf to care about the sofa.  Tennis, fishing, soccer, softball, basketball, running, sailing, or any exercise that stirs our passions are good choices for creating new habits.

I have switched activities from time to time. But I continue to find new physical activities that I love.

As for eating healthy foods, I have never given up cake or ice cream.  However, for 6 days of each week, I eat things that are healthiest for me instead.  I have good luck with eating a ketogenic diet.  My eating plan is 10 percent carbohydrates, 20-25 percent protein, and 65-70 percent fat. I track what I eat and track my weight.

About once a week, I purposely drift away from my eating plan to eat the most indulgent things I can find.  And, I remind myself the next day that I had planned to eat that way for one-day week.

Then I return to my keto eating plan. The indulgent day kick-starts my metabolism into high gear.  It is not just a day of pleasure.  The indulgent day is a day of necessity.  I have fun and feel passionate about the way I am eating and about the results.

Breaking Habits: Why is quitting unhealthy or counterproductive habits so difficult? What are the tools that everyone can use to end these habits and start healthier and more productive habits?

Quitting a bad habit is easier when we do something healthy instead. ~ www.jaywren.com

Here are some typical unhealthy or counterproductive habits: procrastination, sitting, overspending, drinking too much alcohol, tardiness, snacking, staying up too late, and so on.

Guilt is Never the Answer

Guilt is never the answer to quitting or breaking habits. You are not weak. However, unhealthy, rude habits are powerful. We succumb to our habits to find comfort from bad feelings. Guilt only makes the habits more powerful.

My Story

I am going to discuss the steps I used to stop smoking. However, these steps work in breaking habits of all types.

Smoking may not pose a health threat for everyone. People who smoke an occasional cigar or a cigarette with friends may not damage their health or their relationships.

This article is not a lecture. I can only speak for myself about how I have ended unhealthy habits.

I was a chain-smoker. Whenever I was awake, I had a cigarette in my hands or a cigarette burning in an ashtray at my fingertips. I had an addiction that created cravings when I didn’t smoke.

However, today, I haven’t smoked a cigarette for over thirty years.  Before smoking my last cigarette, I had quit smoking countless times.

I found that I had two problems.  Quitting and staying stopped.

Recognizing the Habit for What It Is

I had two experiences that told me that smoking was very dangerous for me.  First, my father, one of my uncles, and my father’s dad were smokers. All three men developed emphysema and suffered chronic bronchitis, which is common among people who suffer from emphysema.

Second, I had two colds that turned into bronchitis in as many months.

I realized that smoking was a dangerous threat to my health.

Furthermore, I had people who complained to me about how my smoking bothered them. Until I became a non-smoker, I had trouble understanding what I was doing to these people.

Breaking Habits: Admitting the Habit Exist

I reached a point where I could admit to myself that smoking would eventually kill me. Second, I admitted that smoking was selfish and threatened the health of my family and the other people who worked around me.
Furthermore, I had to admit smelling like a smoker had a negative effect on my relationships with other people. Now that I am a non-smoker, I can smell cigarette smoke fifteen feet away.

Finding Healthy Tools

Quitting was never easy. Simple, yes. Easy, no.

The last time I stopped and stayed stopped, I used tools that replaced the elements involved in smoking. I talked to people who had quit. Also, I read articles about the things other people had done to stop and stay stopped.

Furthermore, I would call friends when I craved a cigarette. Talking with them took my mind off my cravings and discomfort.

Here are things helped get through the first two weeks of discomfort.  Part of smoking is the habit of having something between our fingers. I made a chain of paper clips and kept it in my hands to keep my fingers busy. Cravings for a cigarette lasts about 90 seconds. When I became aware that I was craving a cigarette, I would go for a walk to the water fountain or around the atrium at my office.

Knowing that many people ate more when they quit smoking, I began to keep low-calorie foods nearby. For example, crunching on an apple helped me overcome the habit of putting a cigarette in my mouth.

For two weeks, I felt empty-headed. I had trouble concentrating. I understood that this sensation was common and would not last.

Lifestyle Changes

Now that I was not smoking, I felt more comfortable doing more exercise.

I joined a health club and went there each morning before work.

With my wife, I took up co-ed softball and soccer. Also, I coached a couple of adult teams. Then I coached my younger daughter’s soccer team.

Instead of trying to stay off cigarettes, I took up healthy habits that changed my life for the better.  By just giving up cigarettes and doing other things instead, my entire lifestyle changed. I was exercising regularly. My wife and I were making new friends who were active non-smokers as well.

Staying stopped was the real problem. I would go through the discomfort of quitting. Then I would start again.

But by finding healthier things to do, I have become a non-smoker who can’t understand why other people still smoke.

 

Worrying:  Fear is a healthy emotion.  However, when we turn our fears over and over in our mind, we experience pain with no purpose.

Things That Worry Me

I am a risk taker.  I stepped out of a secure career in the consumer products industry to start my own business.  At the time, I had no formal training or experience in running a business.

Four years after starting my business, I decided to move from Houston to Sacramento.  In making this move, I did not have any experience in moving a business.  Furthermore, I didn’t even know of anyone who had made that kind of business move.

I was excited about the move, but I was anxious to get to my new home and get busy working again.

For my business to succeed, I continually had to develop new clients and fulfill the terms of my contracts.  At any time, I could easily begin to worry about the outcomes of my work. Additionally, the relocation created a period of greater uncertainty.

My success always depended on the results of my efforts.  However, focusing on the results instead of focusing on doing the things that had always made me successful was painful and pointless.  For me, focusing on results just leads to worrying.

In most cases, I worried about failed outcomes of projects that were successful.

However, I wanted to reach out into the future and create certainty.  But I couldn’t.

If my clients were puppets, I would have been able to end risks.  I could control everything that everyone did.  I would have been able to control results.  However, my clients were not puppets.  I could only control what I did.

Therefore, during the period of uncertainty from my moving my business, I also focused on building tools for managing worrying.

What Worrying Looks Like to Me

When I worry, I hook onto a scary thought.  Then I roll the thought over in my mind.  Instead of finding a solution, I end in a loop of scary thinking that has no ending until the scary event has passed.  And sometimes, in long-term or permanent situations, those scary thoughts never pass.

Things that Worrying Does Do

Worrying is a thief.  It freezes our minds and robs us of the ability to make the decisions that lead to success.

No amount of worrying is going to make problems go away.  Furthermore, worrying about problems distracts us from finding solutions to our problems.

How I Deal with Worrying

Instead of focusing on what might happen in the future, I focus on doing excellent work today.

The future will happen.  I can plan for it.  Furthermore, I can do things that created success in the past.  Beyond that, I can work with people who can help me focus on solutions and options that help me become more successful.

I can itemize the right steps to complete a project.  Instead of worrying, I can focus on completing those steps and only think about the things that create success.