Category: Leadership

4 Winning Steps to Emotional Intelligence

I can listen without bias.

When I fail to listen for any reason, I frustrate people. I fail to understand people. I limit the information I have when making a decision. When I bring my bias to a conversation, it is harder for me to hear what people are saying. I can listen without bias and withhold judgement until the person has had a chance to speak.

I can get the food and the sleep I need.

When I am hungry or tired, I think less clearly. I take things more personally. I become impatient. I react emotionally and not mentally. I lose perspective. Important things get lost in the clutter of emotions that high jack my thinking.

I can step back and take a break.

When people say things that anger me, my instinct is to pounce on what they are saying. Communication breaks down. Understanding disappears. I can handle the discussion better by stepping back and taking a break. I can start by simply asking, “May I get back to you on this?” The separation from the person allows me to separate the personality from the issue. I think more clearly and develop an effective way to continue the conversation. I can decide whether I need to discuss the issue at all.

I can focus.

I can allow myself to see the big picture. I can make better decisions. Using my that I do not on my emotions.

Leadership skills: here are 8 leadership skills you can develop now.

1. 1. Share your ideas with others.
      It takes time and patience to share ideas and train team members.  Leaders who invest this time to show team members shortcuts and special skills increase the success of the individual members of the team and the success of the entire team.
   2. Delegate responsibility.
      Caught in the daily cycle of handling routine responsibilities, managers can procrastinate working with team members to take on additional responsibility.  However, as team members take on new responsibility, they increase their abilities to move up on the company and take on greater roles.  Delegating responsibility is the first step in succession planning and in increasing employee value.
   3. Become a big picture person.
      Good leaders know that a minor slight or small loss today has no significance in the big picture.  In my relationships, I can remember that no one is perfect.  I can view people for their overall value and not their occasional shortcomings.  I don’t need to pole vault over cracks in the cement.  I can keep things in perspective relative to the big picture.
   4. Improve your communication skills.
      Everyone can work on this basic skill every day.  For me, the single best way to improve this skill is to become a sponge and not a waterspout.  I can read more than I write.  I can listen more than I speak.  When I read and listen to effective communicators, I pick up good communication skills from the imprinting that takes places.  I have found that when I read great stylists like Faulkner and Hemingway, I have to resist writing in the same rhythm, sentence structure, and style they use.  I also ask for feedback from well-read and well-spoken people.  Discussing what I am writing with these people gives me ideas for polishing my skills.  I remember that a local newscaster from Houston told me how they had listened to diction tapes to overcome their southern drawl.

1. Allow others to take go center stage.
   I can encourage others to take the lead.  It never ceases to amaze me to see how another person’s face can light up when I ask them lead to a meeting.  Many wallflowers are quietly waiting to receive recognition.
2. Give credit to other people.
   Saying, “Thank you” is easy to do.  People appreciate it when I say, “You did a good job.”  It is important to pass the credit on to the correct person when someone recognizes me for the work other people have done.  Giving credit to the correct person quickly is easy and helps keep relationships solid.
3. Show concern for people who are struggling.  I once became impatient with a secretary who was hesitant about helping me schedule a flight.  When I pressed her on the matter, she confessed that she had never scheduled a flight.  She had never been on an airplane.  The fact was awkward for her.  She was so bright and capable in so many ways.  I apologized for my impatience.  I explained the simple process to her.  She booked the flights.  A little bit of patience from me helped us both move on to the important things we needed to do that day.
4. Practice what you preach.
   Boy does that sound preachy when it comes from someone else.  It is very easy for me to criticize other people for their shortcomings and ignore my own.  For the people around me to respect me, I can’t say one thing and do another.

Getting Respect at Work affects your income, job security, and career progress.  Here are 10 ways to get respect at work.

You Will Get Respect When You Give Credit.
People gain respect when they give credit to the correct person.  Giving credit is a compliment with substance.

On the other hand, people who claim credit for the work of other people lose respect.   People who know that these people are undeserving of that credit will resent the dishonesty.

“Getting the assignment of credit right is important to everyone.  It is a driver of high performance.”

If you give credit, you will get respect and make your company stronger.

You Will Get the Respect You Deserve When You Admit Mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes.  Successful people admit them and do not repeat them.  People will respect you if you correct your mistakes and move on.

Don’t make excuses for failing to do your work.  Be honest.  You just did not do the work.  You regret it.  When you admit your mistakes and not repeat them, you will get respect.

You Will Get the Respect You Deserve When You Do Your Job.
Get a copy of your job description.  Read it with your boss.  Discuss regularly with your boss what you are doing.  When you are uncertain about what you are doing, ask your boss for information.

Be conscientious about the way you do your job.

“The only major personality trait that consistently leads to success is conscientiousness.”

Your boss will respect you for knowing and doing what you are supposed to do.  Your co-workers will respect you.

You Will Get the Respect You Deserve When You Let Other People Do Their Job.
There are two parts to letting people do their job.

First, do not do let people take advantage of you.  Being a team player and helping other people occasionally is one thing.  Having people use you to do their work is not the way to get respect at work.

Second, do not interfere with other people by meddling in their job.  People do not always want your advice.  People certainly do not want you to do their job and take credit for what their job.

By respecting the job of other people, you will get respect.

You Will Get the Respect You Deserve When You Lighten Up.
If you don’t take yourself too seriously, people will respect you more.  Your daily routine is a marathon, not a sprint.  If you come to work everyday and load the workplace with pressure, you will create tension.

Be sincere.  Work hard.  Be straightforward with your supervisors, co-workers, and people you manage.  Take your work seriously.  However, don’t take everything so seriously that you can’t accept mistakes and adjustments in the daily routine. People will enjoy working with you and you will get respect.

You Will Get the Respect You Deserve When You Keep Your Word.
Honor your commitments.  If you know that you can’t do something or that you will not do something, be honest about it.  Don’t make a commitment to do things that you can’t or will not do.  Keeping your word is basic to getting respect.

You Will Get the Respect You Deserve When You Are Punctual.
People will quickly get weary of dealing with you if you are late all the time.  Make your appointments on time.  Complete your work on time.

You will get respect when people know they can trust you to complete your work on time.

You Will Get the Respect You Deserve When You Respect Your Personal Appearance.
Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.  Keep your hair groomed.  Keep your shirt or blouse tucked in.  Wear clean clothes.

Don’t overdress for the job.  You just want to look professional.  You want to look neat.

If your boss wears khakis and an open-collar shirt, don’t wear a three-piece suit.  If your boss wears a blouse and a skirt, don’t wear expensive dresses.

You want to look like part of the team.  Imagine the manager of a major league baseball team wearing a suit in the dugout during the baseball game instead of wearing a team uniform.  Imagine a professional basketball coach wearing a basketball uniform instead of a suit.

You will get respect when you respect yourself in how you dress.

You Will Get the Respect You Deserve When You When You Avoid Gossip and Confidences
A quick way to ruin relationships is to gossip.  Avoid people who gossip.  The only people who respect people who gossip are other people who gossip.

Keep confidences.  When someone tells you something personal or private, keep it to yourself.  Even if you do not make a commitment to keep the information private, respect the trust that people have given you. People do not respect people who break their confidences.

You will get respect as a person who is trustworthy.

You Will Get the Respect You Deserve When You Show Confidence.
Be confident in your body language, in what you say, and how you say it.

Stay calm. “Courage is grace under pressure,” to quote Ernest Hemingway.  Confidence is grace under any circumstance.

Respect starts with you.  Dress the part.  Act the part.  People will respect you for doing a good job and being a great asset.

Picking winning teams and mentors is an important part of making career progress.  Although we often find ourselves on teams our company or a committee has assigned us, there are several times in life when we get opportunities to pick our teams.

If we are the team leader, we get to pick the entire team from the available selections.  If we are in a professional leadership or hiring role, we select people who will benefit the company, make the team more productive, and work well under our supervision.

We can pick our teams and our mentors in developing networks.  In these cases we can pick the winners who will make our lives more fun, more interesting, and help us become smarter and more creative.

We can pick our mentors or perhaps gravitate toward our mentors, both at work and after work.  Our mentors are not always our supervisor.   We can pick who have more time in a company or who work in other departments.

Outside of work, we can pick friends who can mentor us in many ways.

I have friends and mentors who are doctors, attorneys, members of the clergy, engineers, bankers, contractors, state administrators, chemists, a judge, athletes, and others.  I became friends with these people, because I enjoy their company.  These people are interesting and intelligent people and teach me a lot of things within the scope of their profession and outside the scope of their profession.

I do not pick my friends to get professional advice.  I pick them as people with whom I bond over common interests.

I have had occasions when my friends have provided me with professional services.  I met them in their office for professional purposes.  One friend wrote my will. Another wrote an employment contract.  For these purposes, I paid these people and met them in their office.

One friend who is an anesthesiologist recommended that I see a skin specialist.  Another friend became my primary care physician.

A friend who is a chemist calmed my fears about my liability over a fire that broke out in one of my offices.  I was anxious about the damage to the building from the sprinkler system.  He said that the fire department would very likely find the cause of the fire and that my business could not have caused that fire.

As it turned out, the fire investigators found that a janitor had thrown a cigarette into a waste paper basket and started the fire.  The fire activated the ceiling sprinkler system which had immediately extinguished the fire before the evidence (the cigarette butt and the trash) had completely burned in the basket.

My friend is who a senior state administrator is terrific in negotiations and has helped me work through more than one difficult discussion with clients and other friends.

As you pick your friends around the office and after work, pick people who can help you grow as a professional and as a person.  I have found that picking friends in this way has made my life more fun, more interesting, and has helped me through countless challenging situations.